Thursday, May 31, 2012

Why I write.


Why do I write?


I think it started as a desire to understand God. Having spent all those years growing up in the church I am painfully aware of what the religious folk taught me, but I needed to know for myself. I am really quite excited about what I have found, because I either had to or chose to look for myself.
On the one hand I could easily say I was lied to, but the truth is that they only tried to impress upon me the concepts that had been passed along to them (perhaps they were trying to make reality something they thought children could understand). I do not think that excuses those in authority from reading the truth themselves and passing along a correct understanding. Read the scriptures, you will find that God speaks consistently, with some anger, about shepherds that lead the flock astray. Why? Because it allows the flock to be destroyed.
As I think about the time frame, I have systematically been reading God's Word about eight years. Someone recently said to me, “you know so much about the bible.” I do not feel that way, and my mind is not retaining the locations of passages anymore, but then when you think about the time you have invested, you should have a better understanding than the average religious person who allows someone else to prescribe their theology (I almost hate that word theology because one the “Christian” radio stations I listen to flings the word around like a club to inflict you. It merely means your concepts and understanding of God, and how you apply them to your life.)
There were so many things going on prior to this change in me. I had been involved with a mega church where I operated computer driven projection screens that the audience saw. While some look at people who do things like this as icons, what goes on in the background is far to often filled with extraordinary stresses, most of which come from power-driven pastors and their staff. Sadly, I left there in a rage, never went back, and fell into a non-church going depression for about a year.
What changed that stage of my life had a lot to do with a church I used to go to that was doing a building project, and I got involved. Once the church was built I stayed there. Out of work, I involved myself in various Bible studies and groups and I began, once again, to experience a growth spurt in the Lord.
Each of the bible studies usually gave you a clue about what to expect for the following week, so I would read ahead. Although I was not even close to being the leader, I have always had the wish to lead, and would prepare for when the need arose. Perhaps it was the preparation, or perhaps it was the fact that my being ready gave me some insights to share, but I did get several opportunities, and gained some respect from a small handful of people. Since nothing has ever come easily for me, why should this be any different. I watched, as people with the ability to schmooze the pastor gained bible teaching positions in the church while having no understanding of the Word, teaching garbage and someone else's opinion.
I have always had a desire to understand end times events, and like everyone else, reading the Revelation, Daniel, or Ezekiel had my head spinning (I am now quite sure that the “head spin” had much to do with trying to understand by using the conjecture taught me when I was younger.)
There used to be a man running around the country named Hilton Sutton. He would speak on end times in a way that fascinated me, but I would walk away just as lost. Attempts at reading and understanding these things just muddied up the water even more. It was not until I came across a book called the Islamic Antichrist that things began to have meaning. Names, places, and characters within the Revelation suddenly began to make sense.
While others around me seem to struggle, I will tell you that I am not confused (occasionally I can be, especially when someone decides to assert an improper dominance and force their ill-formed concept down your throat.)
A man who is part of a Bible study I attend pushes some poorly researched ideas about the Millennial reign. It is your right to have opinions, but to shove them down someone’s throat as theology, is not your right. When you do that you set yourself up as god, knowing what is best, and you will be judged accordingly.
1 Corinthians 3:11-13 KJV For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble; every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is.
No, I do not have all this memorized, but my mind clings to concepts, and one of the things education will do for you is to teach you to do research. I am not the best at it, but comparing resources and original texts I can gain an understanding, and hopefully share that with you. Therefore, if I am given time I will come back to you with a definitive answer. If I cannot give you an answer like that, then I will lead to the truth of God’s Word, and allow Him to enlighten you.
Writing helps me to clarify things that bring me confusion. Confusion is not of God, and in case you were not aware, God is not trying to confuse anyone who reads the Revelation. It is a book that was meant to be understood and there is a special blessing upon those that pursue that understanding.
Writing has given me a framework from which to ask questions. I can develop those questions without reproach, obtaining answers just as if God were speaking directly to me, and there many times in which I feel that he is. I am safe in discussing my doubts, griefs and misunderstandings with God. No one rebuffs me for having doubts or erratic ideas.
Even though I write to understand the Father, I find it also gives me a better understanding of myself. Work is filled with daily stresses; investing time in God’s word helps me to keep my head on straight. Yes, I have had experiences with mental health professionals (I do not recommend you judge me at this point. Just because you either had better parenting than I had, or you choose to self-medicate. You are no better than me, and you need to understand that in a big hurry.) Counseling gave me some tools to help me understand why I react the way I do. They told me that I was passive aggressive. What that means: my tendency is to merely take the abuse, no matter what the form, until I could not take it anymore, then I turn into a angry, raging, monster. The worst part is that you have to deal with the carnage you leave behind, and I hate cleaning up. I learned that I have to talk about how I feel so that I do not merely retain a continuing stream of pain, and writing gives me a venue to discuss that pain and anger. If you are not aware, God can handle your anger and pain. My problem is that I did not take it to him either.
For all the reasons I write I suppose the bottom line is, writing builds a trust in me. I have come to trust and understand that God is trustworthy and therefore I can trust him. I have gone through doubts, and so did the Apostle Paul. Read 1 Corinthians 15 where he talks about the idea that what we are doing, this living a righteous life, is in vain, unless this hope we have in Jesus, and all that he entails, is true, and it is. He had to sort these things out for himself. Do you not understand that Paul’s training would have fought against the grace of God, and that grace is Paul’s main theme throughout scripture. I have learned that God is a god of mercy, that grace rules my life, that there is freedom in Him and yet I choose not to offend others, so that they may come to know that same grace. I have come to understand that God is true and trustworthy. His word is comprehensible and that he desires us to understand who He is.
It is by writing that I have come to understand that Jesus is God.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

A response to a blogger. Dated 5/15/2012

There are some things I read that register immediately in my spirit; this response is toward one of them. The Holy Spirit seems to flood over me at times like this, not only in recognition of a kindred spirit, but of the power and majesty of the Holy God.

I will be honest with you. With out knowing what you had to say I almost dreaded seeing any replies. Most who have made contacts with me on earlier posts no longer do so. One fellow went on a strange attack.

Do I fear them? No. Can they cause me some form of depression? Yes. I have to shake that stuff off.

What the rebuffs and rejections do to me, is to make me more determined. I wish I wrote more intelligibly and could get these words, I feel are of the Holy Spirit, directly to those that need to hear it.
You know most will reject it.

5/14/12 - I went to Monday morning bible study with a group of guys I met at the coffee shop. Quite the mix they are. Only one of the Catholic brothers was there and he was asking for a definition of who Jesus is, because, and I am guessing, the Mormons came to his door and told him they believe in Jesus too. Within minutes that migrated into his own unbelief and misconceptions about the trinity.

The "leader" (Yes, you detected a little disdain.) is much more skillful at confronting cults, so he answering most of the questions.

At this point in walks our occasional visit from the Doctor of Philosophy. Educated, black, and angry, he will turn a 30 second answer into an hour long diatribe about slavery, racism and prejudice, no matter what the topic. The worst part is I have no idea where he stands in his relationship to Jesus Christ. He said things the other day that made him sound like Oprah Winfrey. God is in everything and everyone. There is no need to seek his face, for all men are created in his image. He made me want to throw up, and worst is his lack of desire to hear anything to the contrary.

Here is what scares me about this. I suspect that we are talking about two out of three "Christians" believe this tripe.
I came home and one of my sisters had just pulled up to the house. I told her straight out that I had just been in the presence of demons. (Why would I say that? Read Mark 1:23-24 ) I told my sister about what had just happened, adding, really, all I want to do is to talk about the greatness of my God. Now that often leads me into so many other aspects, but I never hear this out of the Dr.

I do not know how we got there but she, who used to be solid in the word and faith, is now telling me that there is no hell outside of some uncomfortable separation from God, and even then you can see him in the distance. She referenced the beggar Lazarus being comforted, and the "former" rich man in torment but capable of seeing all this from a relatively short distance, therefore a loving God would not torment his own creation by putting them into an eternal tormented hell, completely separate from God.

I tried to reason with her, but my memory is failing me and I do not tend to remember precise scriptures like I used to. God is not putting anyone in hell. They are merely following the one they love to his destination.
I fear for her now as well. Not so much over the possibility that they have rejected Christ and won't make the rapture, but what if they do have to endure the time of Jacob's trouble? When I try to bring them up to speed on current events that are and will affect them, she tells me I am scaring her, and did not God tells us to only think on the good things.

When people say things, like she did, they demonstrate their lack of knowledge and understanding of who God is.

I have found him to be more merciful than anyone could ever have imagined. I have only found these things out by reading them for myself and asking questions. So for me to hear such narrow minded, responses that lack insight and logic, I then keenly aware that the respondent does not read for themselves.

- God demonstrated his great mercy by offering up his son for a world that did not deserve it; a world that  certainly could not have paid the price for their own salvation.

- He extends mercy through the age of grace, toward all who will come.

- He extends mercy throughout the time of Jacob's trouble through "endurance", to all who will call upon his name. As a side note on this aspect. There will be an outpouring of Holy Spirit and revival throughout the time of Jacob's trouble (the tribulation period). I know this because Peter restated it on the day of Pentecost when he quoted from Joel Chapter 2. Joel chapter 2 is a chapter about the time of judgment, Jacob's troubles. The Holy Spirit has already begun to fall as he is empowering people like myself to declare with mouths that Jesus Christ is Lord over everything, and we are responding with our hands as we reach out and touch people with healing and life.

- And, even at the white throne judgment, after the 1000 years are over, he extends his mercy by basing his acceptance based upon what seems like good deeds. I believe that doing these good deeds these people are demonstrating the character of God.

You probably aware, that during this time of the white throne judgment, there are those, that although they are screaming at God about what they did in his name (Islam believes that Allah is his name.), they are not shown mercy because of their lack of good deeds.

How could anyone dare call God unfair and unmerciful. Hell has torment, Jesus told us so in Matthew 5:22. Satan will be thrown into a lake of fire to be tormented forever. Only those that follow him, their leader, will be thrown in there with him.

I said it all to say, that if you are a believer in Jesus Christ, and believe that he empowers us to move mountains, then I am honored to have a warrior and a watchman, stand in battle with me.

I believe that he is coming quickly. We are not in the darkness that we cannot ascertain that his approach is near.

If you did not see my recommendation, then get a copy of the book "The Harbinger" by Jonathon Cahn.

We are that close. The prophecy was declared over 2000 years ago, and every aspect has come to pass as this nation has followed the same destructive path that Israel did, all those years ago.

I personally believe that our President's statement recently about homosexual marriages sealed our fate as a nation. The time of repentance is over for this nation and judgment will come quickly.

All that is left is for us to pray that God invades the hearts and minds of those that will follow him. I, personally, do not want anyone to have to go through what is to come, nor hell.

I have been called to be a watchman upon the wall, and this is one of my trumpets. Join me as we cry out, "the sword of the Lord, and of Gideon."

The servant of the Most High God
Ozzie



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Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Don't let the enemy rob you.


I love the story surrounding Issac and Rebekah. If I had been Abraham I would have wanted the best for my “only son” too.

The father of faith, Abraham, will not have his son marry one of the local women for they do not know, nor honor God. So he sends his servant to the land of his relatives to get a wife.

Nothing about that process seems good for there are far too many variables involved, even the servant knew that, but the servant demonstrated some remarkable insight and applies some logic, faith, and we bit of a test, and God comes through with the quick answer.

Rebekah comes off as remarkable in the first few seconds, and she demonstrates some traits that would have made her the prize of any man. I wish I had met her. Eventually Issac and Rebekah become man and wife, the family grows, and the boys choose wives of their own.

Anyone familiar with this fairy tale scenario knows that it is filled with some twisted human dynamics. I am not a psychologist, but have had to deal with a tremendous amount of family trauma myself, and it is not fun.

And Rebekah said to Isaac, I am weary of my life because of the daughters of Heth: if Jacob take a wife of the daughters of Heth, such as these which are of the daughters of the land, what good shall my life do me?
(Genesis 27:46 KJV)

Look up the word weary in the Strong’s concordance and you will begin to get the true sense of despair in her voice.

The word is qûts, pronounced koots, (Strong # H6973) and is a primitive root (rather identical with H6972 through the idea of severing oneself from (compare H6962)); to be (causatively make) disgusted or anxious: - abhor, be distressed, be grieved, loathe, vex, be weary.

I read this and suddenly have a clearer picture of how depression affected her. If we take this concept of severing herself to it’s extreme she was considering suicide. We know that she did not follow through with this thought, but the effects of her playing the two sons against each other, and Esau’s rebellion against her authority were devastating.
It was only this last Sunday morning that our guest speaker, a man in national demand at prophetic conferences, said something that brought the grand prophetic illusion down to earth when he stated that one of major events that weakens us and make us subject to the enemies attacks was times of great weariness.

I know what it means to me. I am tired, but in my case add a little dose of low blood sugar, and I am not thinking straight at all. I have to force myself to distinguish between what I know feels like depression and just plain exhaustion. I also know that I dare not attempt to make a reasonable decision in a condition like that.

The dictionary tends to define weariness as: The state of exhaustion induced by physical labor; fatigue; disappointment; unmet expectations; worn-out patience, (or, if I may, burn out.)

Look, God has a job for you to do. Though you might look at yourself and consider yourself unfit for God’s duty, you need to know that you were especially designed and hand picked for that job; the path your life has taken you on and made you is exactly why, but if the enemy can take you out of action due to fatigue or poor decision making then not only has the enemy won that battle, but you have lost out on an amazing feeling of peace.

I have found that being prepared and alert enough to respond to the leading of the Spirit’s direction can be the most rewarding feeling this world has to offer. There is some foolishness in that statement because I am comparing a feeling I associate with the spirit with what the world has to offer. They cannot compare.

For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waits for him.
(Isaiah 64:4 KJV)

Don’t let the enemy rob you through weariness. Sit by the brook for a spell, just as David's men did, and get your strength back. God will not forget you. (Read 1Samuel 30)

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