Skip to main content

All your life...

I want to share some things with you that might explain where I have been for the last couple of weeks.

First I placed myself into the recovery program at my church. 

I am fairly sure I mentioned this before but it plays a significant role in how my time is spent, and how my life is changing for the better. It is called Celebrate Recovery. 

While many of the people there have issues with alcohol and drugs that is not my problem. My problem is: we have an enemy that takes pleasure in stealing, killing and destroying anything that looks like God, and since we accepted Christ into our lives and have been formed into his image we are even larger targets. I have battled with abuses, frustrations, depression, fear, self-esteem issues, and the desire to hide from it all, all my life. I imagine many of you have had comparable or worse issues and possibly handled them better than me. I reacted in rage. I believe the rage came as a result of what felt like helplessness and inadequacies. 

It has been just a little over a month now, working through a 12 step program, and I am finding that there is a joy in me that has not left me, even through the stress, for days now.
I am choosing to walk each day in joy. I am not going to lie to you, I have had my rough moments, but at the end of the day the joy is still there. I am sure that a deep understanding that Jesus Christ is the higher power and making the decision to relinquish control of trying to fix my life (trying to fix myself has not succeeded for 48 of my 60 years on this earth) and turn my life over to Jesus Christ played huge and significant roles. What a relief!

CR has forced me to adapt my schedule and that creates some new challenges for me when it comes to writing for posts. 

One of the aspects of CR, that I happen to find the most freeing, is that when we break into small groups there are guidelines that are enforced. These guidelines are meant to create a safe environment and allow everyone a chance to speak. Imagine if all your life you have felt as though you did not have the freedom to express the anguish of your heart, or by the same token not able to convey the joy you have experienced. No one is allowed to interrupt unless you are stating that you have a clear intent of hurting yourself or others. Just being able to speak without interruption has made all the difference to me. 

When your self-esteem has been thoroughly trashed just the act of being given a voice is extremely healing. 

God cares about every aspect of you. 

He cares that you have not been able to express yourself. 

Your voice was given by God as a gift, and He desires that you share the freedom inside in with others.

I pray you find that voice inside of you and the freedom to use it.

Popular posts from this blog

Assemble and come together, from everyside to my sacrifice. Eze 39:17-20

As I talked previously about Ezekiel's prophecy against Gog and his armies; and how they will be killed on the mountains of Israel; I explained how Israel gathers Gog's weapons for use as firewood for the next seven years. The time frame involved seemed so obvious to me, as this all happens moments before the rapture of the church and the Antichrist persona steps onto the stage. "On that day I will give Gog a burial ground there in Israel... So they will bury Gog there with all his horde, (Ezekiel 39:11 NASB) "For seven months the house of Israel will be burying them to cleanse the land .. (Ezekiel 39:12-13 NASB) An obvious factor that we tend to ignore in our group Bible studies is that Israel will still be filled with a level of violence during these burials. Think about what goes on there in Israel on a daily basis: rock throwing, stabbings, car rammings, and, an occasional bomb, but this is almost daily. And yet, at some crucial moment, when the world thinks t…

A response to a comment, three years late.

I wrote this in response to a comment. I am including it for your benefit as misconceptions and false teachings run rampant. I rarely talk to anyone who has a firm grasp on what happens after the seven years of wrath. I hope you find this beneficial, and yes, it is long.
Well, here it is three years since you wrote your comment and I am finally responding to it. I wish I could tell you why but I cannot remember now. Perhaps I can chalk it up to not having enough time at that point, but as I had only recently been fired from my last job back then, you might think I had nothing but time. Perhaps I did not have a clear answer and needed to develop a concrete response; or, maybe I just forgot. Regardless, another comment, just a few days ago - three years later, has brought your comment to my attention once again.
Let me add, that in the process of learning how to deal with my thoughts on “paper” and then subject myself to potential criticism, was quite challenging. I can tell you that I …

An essay from Hebroots.com entitled: No Man knows the Day or the Hour.

This is taken, in its entirety, from Hebrew Roots.com. The direct web address is: http://www.hebroots.org/hebrootsarchive/9807/980715_c.html I happened to find this information mere hours before Rosh Hashana began on Wednesday, 9/20/2017 and it took my breath away for several reasons. I have been trying to convey to believers that Jesus, the Jew, said things that a Jewish audience understood without hesitation. We, on the other hand, really have no clue at all, and part of the reason for that is this false idea that God has replaced Israel with us broken Gentiles. Knowing that Rosh Hashana, the highest of holy days in the Jewish community, was about to take place, and, knowing that it is also called the Feast of Trumpets, I immediately made the correlation with the coming of Jesus in the clouds to gather His church. The time frame closed at sunset on Friday 922/2017. To be honest I was greatly disappointed to wake up on earth Saturday morning. Does the fact that I am still here mean …