I want to share some things with you that might explain where I have been for the last couple of weeks.
First I placed myself into the recovery program at my church.
I
am fairly sure I mentioned this before but it plays a significant role
in how my time is spent, and how my life is changing for the better. It
is called Celebrate Recovery.
While many of the people there have issues
with alcohol and drugs that is not my problem. My problem is: we have
an enemy that takes pleasure in stealing, killing and destroying
anything that looks like God, and since we accepted Christ into our
lives and have been formed into his image we are even larger targets. I
have battled with abuses, frustrations, depression, fear, self-esteem
issues, and the desire to hide from it all, all my life. I imagine many
of you have had comparable or worse issues and possibly handled them
better than me. I reacted in rage. I believe the rage came as a result
of what felt like helplessness and inadequacies.
It
has been just a little over a month now, working through a 12 step
program, and I am finding that there is a joy in me that has not left
me, even through the stress, for days now.
I
am choosing to walk each day in joy. I am not going to lie to you, I
have had my rough moments, but at the end of the day the joy is still
there. I am sure that a deep understanding that Jesus Christ is the
higher power and making the decision to relinquish control of trying to
fix my life (trying to fix myself has not succeeded for 48 of my 60
years on this earth) and turn my life over to Jesus Christ played huge
and significant roles. What a relief!
CR has forced me to adapt my schedule and that creates some new challenges for me when it comes to writing for posts.
One
of the aspects of CR, that I happen to find the most freeing, is that
when we break into small groups there are guidelines that are enforced.
These guidelines are meant to create a safe environment and allow
everyone a chance to speak. Imagine
if all your life you have felt as though you did not have the freedom
to express the anguish of your heart, or by the same token not able to
convey the joy you have experienced. No one is allowed to interrupt
unless you are stating that you have a clear intent of hurting yourself
or others. Just being able to speak without interruption has made all
the difference to me.
When your self-esteem has been thoroughly trashed
just the act of being given a voice is extremely healing.
God
cares about every aspect of you.
He cares that you have not been able
to express yourself.
Your voice was given by God as a gift, and He
desires that you share the freedom inside in with others.
I pray you find that voice inside of you and the freedom to use it.
Related articles
- 7.22.13 - Sin Looses It's Power At Death (leadingfamilydevotions.com)
- Holy Spirit. (bummyla.wordpress.com)
- 7.21.13 - Jesus Christ The Second Adam (leadingfamilydevotions.com)
- "Follow Me" (sammysnardfarkle.wordpress.com)
- A Life of Victories in Christ Jesus! (bummyla.wordpress.com)
- No Condemnation (devog.wordpress.com)
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