I need to talk about death for a moment.

On Sunday, February 10 of 2019, my mother went home to be with Jesus.

Only a few days have passed since she died and I find myself talking about her death with a smile on my face. How can I do that? To answer that I have to back up a couple of months.

When we learned there was a probability of mom having pancreatic cancer, it was mid-December. The primary piece of evidence for this diagnosis was a blood test. Normal readings on her pancreas should have been 13; hers were 1100, but, from what I understand, the Doctor could not decisively say he was dealing with pancreatic cancer because he did not have a biopsy (The Doctor also felt it was foolish to put mom through a biopsy surgery, at this point.)
I have known people who obtained a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer and died painful deaths within months.

Some will doubt this, but I heard the Holy Spirit say, “she only has two months to live.” I knew that this information, with no definitive evidence, would not be received well, and it was not. I told the family member who shared the vague information from the doctor with me, no good will come of this. I did not say this to be negative, I listen to the Holy Spirit, and that is what I heard. Oh, there is always the possibility of some good, as I serve a God who is never without a plan. At 82, mom had few realistic options, especially since the last surgery she had, a hip surgery, was very hard on her and she fought, prematurely, to leave the hospital. I told you all that to say; I feel the Lord was preparing some of us, for her departure.

Another reason I can smile is that I know where she went. She went home to be with Jesus. I have looked into this phrase before, and spoken about it in my blog; however, I will admit that the scripture reference is just a little thin. We say: “To be absent from the body, is to be present with the Lord.” But here is what Paul said,

2 Corinthians 5:6-8 NASB (6) Therefore, being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord-- (7) for we walk by faith, not by sight-- (8) we are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord.

Let's logically attack this for a moment.

• knowing that while we are at home in the body, we are absent from the Lord.”

If being at home in my body, makes me absent from the Lord, then the inverse must be true. Therefore, if I am absent from my body, then I must be present with the Lord. Of course, I left out a minor detail, as this is all contingent upon a relationship with Jesus Christ.

A simple explanation goes like this – when Jesus was asked what must a person do to be saved, Jesus responded with, "believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, the one sent by the Father." Well, that is what my mother did, as mom had a long term relationship with Jesus Christ and longed to be with Him. I too have this kind of relationship with Jesus. The Apostle Paul went on to say that the preferred condition would be, “to be absent from the body and be home with the Lord.”
So, I had time to say goodbye, and to tell mom that she could go home if she wanted to. And, I have the knowledge that she is at peace, rejoicing in heaven with Jesus, just as she longed to do.

Is there emotional pains, certainly, and some are much more trouble than others; and, there was an abundance of family drama. One of the ways I have learned to deal with the drama is a simple phrase, it is not my circus, and they are not my monkeys. While that works to some degree, it is often difficult to keep the monkeys from throwing their food and debris at you, and that makes life difficult at times.

A friend of mine insists that we, as the church, are destined to go through the seven years of God's wrath. I have tried, in several ways, through scripture, to show him how wrong he is. On my last chance to spend time with my mother, I was lying near her, holding her hand, and watching Charles Stanley on the Trinity Broadcasting Network, the night before she died. On this night my friend sent me a message explaining how he had challenged some Christians about their belief in a pre-tribulation rapture. Sadly, we, as the church, seem to think that we get to escape ALL tribulation and discomfort. My response to this belief that we get to escape discomfort is, we are fortunate to have been born in the United States. How do you, who think discomfort means you are not a believer, explain the horrendous torment followers of Christ in the Middle East, African nations, and China, for example, go through? When did I respond to his message I told him that I was lying next to my mom, who was dying of pancreatic cancer and did he not think that this was a fiery trial? It was and continues to be for some.


Jesus told us, that in this world we would have tribulations. Welcome to the world, and welcome to this life we have in Christ. It is real, and there nothing you can do to avoid the discomforts of the world.

As they used to say on Monty Python, and now for something completely different.

Yes, I have been continuing to weave my way through the book of Micah, but something happened that I want to share with you.

Last Monday the wife and I went to a local Botanical Garden. I have been going there for years, and, I even took some classes there when I was a Horticulture major in college. I have two of these delightful places about equal distance from me, in the opposite direction. It matters not which one I go to as they are both places of serenity, beauty, and places of escape for me. As we were leaving, I asked the wife if anything inspired her for lunch. After a moment of thought, she replied with, let's go to a particular burger stand in a city we go by on the way back home. It's a little out of the way, but I used to work near there, and she used to live in that city, and both of us, at varying times, ate at this place; and, it has been a landmark in that city for over 30 years. (I did not tell my wife until later, that I too had thought about eating lunch there. I rejected that idea because I did not think she would go for it. So when she brings it up, I quickly said, let's go.)

We walked in the door, and immediately I am looking into the eyes of a young black woman and her two children. It is at this point that the name Newgy pops into my head. Looking at the young lady, I see no resemblance and convince myself that it is merely the association with the "restaurant" and the locale; so we went to order. Having ordered, I sat, ate, and talked with my wife about Newgy and her Mama, Jeanetta. Evidently, this young lady heard everything I was saying, and so when had to step in front of me to dispose of her trash she kept glancing at me. She began to return to her table when I raised my hand to stop her, and she responded.

I apologized for staring as I entered the business and began to tell her how that upon seeing her the name Newgy popped into my head, but I did not understand why. She said, I heard you talking about my Mama, but she has such an unusual name so I knew that this could not be a coincidence. She went on to say, that Jeanetta is my grandma. I knew both these women, and I told her that I thought her grandma was a Godly woman. For a few seconds she threw names at me, and I knew them all. Now some of my memories were a little more exciting than I needed to share, but we had something in common.

This moment in time happened so quickly, and now she was leaving. I asked her to say Hi to her mom and told her to mention a name she would remember. When I mentioned the name, she told me, that lady and her grandma were best friends. I just smiled, said God bless you and have a great day. Then I sat back down with my wife. That's when it hit me what God had just done. Jesus said it is necessary that I go away so that the Holy Spirit will come. Well, He did, and so did the Holy Spirit, and I have on many occasions asked the Holy Spirit of God to possess me, because it is in those moments I feel most alive. I suddenly realized that this day, in this little hamburger stand, we were having one of those moments.

People ask me, how do I know that it's the Holy Spirit talking to me? The problem is, sometimes you don't. Sometimes you think it is your great idea, much like the simple choice of picking a hamburger stand. I had no idea that God had arranged an appointment for me, nor do I understand all the reasons behind His actions. He may have meant for this entire meeting to remind a young lady that God was in control. Or, there is the possibility that God was trying to tell me that He still speaks to me; He is not through with me, and that the prophetic gift is still alive in me. Or, maybe He was trying to encourage me after an unusually bad week, one in which I was willing, once again, to give up.

I believe I am sharing this with you to let you know that God cares about you, loves you, and longs for you use the gift inside of you.

A blog update and some thoughts on confession.

I know I haven't written for a couple of weeks, but I have an excuse; I was invited, no, told is more like it, that I was going with a friend to the town of Emmett Idaho. It is a mere 900+ miles North East of me and about a 15-hour drive on a good day.

Our day, when you look at the physical evidence, was not that good, but, as you can see, got better.

Second tire blowout of the day.

Our first day on the road was met with two tire blowouts, which cost over $1200 and burned up about four hours of our day. We rolled into Emmett on the second day of our adventure.

The truck where it died.

We stopped and started the truck many times as we headed toward the ranch. The trailer we towed, was finally parked and disconnected, and the vehicle was parked for the last time that second day. Wouldn't you know it, the truck would not start. The majority of the plans we had centered around the truck working. By the way, both of these vehicles were borrowed. We got the truck out of the shop, after an overnight stay, on Thursday evening; too late to get any work done and still leave at 0300 on Friday morning.

While this story so far doesn't leave me the room to tell about how God's grace and mercy played a massive role in this trip/adventure, but it was clear to us.

Emmett Valley, Idaho, USA

This adventure, however, is not exactly what I wanted to convey to you. Lacking any internet or phone service from the ranch, I only had brief minutes to contact my wife as we made excursions into town with an older jeep that had a mind of its own. As I think back on it, I believe my friend told me that there was little contact with the outside world while we were on the ranch. Considering the plans, he has for the property and the number of people he foresees coming there, having internet will be a good thing and should have been resolved by the time you read this.

So, what did I do in my relative few minutes to myself? I finished a home study worksheet and emailed it off just so they could have my two cents on the subject matter; and, after a few moments of pondering, decided to start an in-depth look at the Book of Micah.

My time at the ranch took me away from a home group; a home church I had one chance to attend, and the two guys I meet with twice a week. These two guys have become somewhat of an accountability group for me. What I mean is this – we are told in scripture to confess our sins to one another.

James 5:15-16 NASB and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him. 16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.

This phrase, “and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him,” really bothers me, especially when it is couched in tones of guilt and manipulation, as some pastor is doing his best to control the irrational behaviors of his audience. Get real, saps like me, who go into their pastor's office, with hopes of talking openly and freely - like you might with a friend, hoping they will be a sounding board as you “confess” your sins, quickly learn that the pastor is not and never will be our friend.

Sins are the simple act of missing the bull's eye on a target. We, as followers of Christ, are shooting to hit the target constantly, every day. The obvious factor is that the target is often eighty yards away and now looks to be about the size of a button on your shirt. If I give myself the freedom to indulge in rage, I have missed the mark, at least for that moment. When I sit with my friends, I talk about these moments, and, I talk about the constant, grinding issues that live with me and feed into my anxiety.
All these things have helped to make me who I am, and, if I am willing to open my mouth, following the lead of the Holy Spirit, the results can be amazing. The way I see it, God made me who I am, and there are people out there who can relate to me and are just waiting for me to feed into their lives.
Well, this is not a bible study, but more of a little insight into me; and that, has everything to do with Micah at this point.

That being said, what about this book of Micah?

Having come back from Idaho with barely enough time to cover Micah 1:1, I did not feel prepared to lead a bible study on the book. To put it bluntly, I fouled up and got mislead by the verse and my search tools, as I tried to find out what made Micah the person he was.
Some would ask, why is knowing what things influenced Micah important to the study? Because, external influences create attitudes, motivation, language, and reactionary ways. Take Jephthah for example. I always refer to him as the biker gang leader of the Bible. You find his story in Judges 11:1-10. I will leave you to read that for yourself.
So as I sat with my friend (the other guy got a job and won't be around anymore), I opened with this confession about my shoddy preparations to walk through a study on Micah.
I saw what verse one had to say, and honestly, I stopped right there.

Micah 1:1 NASB The word of the LORD which came to Micah of Moresheth in the days of Jotham, Ahaz, and Hezekiah, kings of Judah, which he saw concerning Samaria and Jerusalem.

Aside from Micah, which I know so little about, the only other names that rang any bells are Ahaz and Hezekiah, and so I began to do word searches.
The first name I looked at was Jothan.
Jothan, it turns out was also a son of Gideon, but not the Jothan I was looking for. Gideon was one of the judges of Israel – that means he fought and won a battle or two giving Israel peace for a few years. It turns out Gideon liked women and had a rather large concubine, hence we have Jothan. But in finding Jothan, we find Abimelech, another son of Gideon, who, after the death of Gideon decided to go rogue and take the lead over Israel by killing off seventy of his brothers. It turns out that Gideon even has an eighth generation grandson named Ahaz. After close to five hours of pursuing this detour, I found myself realizing that Jothan is being referred to as the son of a king; and that could not be referring to Gideon.
Although killing your brothers, all on one rock would be evil in my book, Abimelech did nothing in comparison to king Ahaz who is described in the ISBE as: “a gross idolater, and sought safety in heathen ceremonies, making his son pass through the fire to Molech, consulting wizards and necromancers, and other idolatrous practices.”
On top of that, there was no link between Hezekiah and Gideon; and all of them were referred to as kings. One other error became blaring apparent to me as, Micah comes on the scene somewhere around 730 BC, while Gideon is dated back to 1191 BC, over 400 years earlier.
So, in light of confession, I told my friend about this side trip and how much time I wasted. [My friend was a youth pastor at one point in his life, and, he was a church elder.] Odd how I should use the term wasted, as I gained great insight into the life of Gideon and his sons. But it did nothing to further my understanding of Micah. I had to make a U-turn and begin looking in more appropriate places for information pertaining to Micah.
So as I sit with men, like my friend, I am always reminded of this theme in James, as I “confess” my attempts at hitting the mark/bullseye and do not do such a good job. We laughed about the process and enjoyed some fantastic conversation about Micah as we discussed what my friend had learned by merely reading a few chapters ahead.
I mentioned I had been in the State of Idaho, USA., the previous week with minimal internet usage.
On one occasion into town, I found that one of my brothers had put up a lengthy video in which he discussed sanctification. He opened the video with a brief introduction of himself, and then said something to this effect: this is going to be a long and difficult discussion, so sit back, relax, and let's dig into the scripture. At that point, I shut the video off as I could not afford 45 minutes of my time.
Several days passed and we were now traveling back home from Idaho when I said to my friend as he drove, “are you ready for some deep theology?” He paused, looked at me, and surprisingly said, sure, go ahead. I replied, “alright then, let's talk about sanctification.” I had already mentioned to him about my brother's video and how I felt about it. I said, Jesus died and rose again, during which time the book of Hebrews explains how He, as the high priest, sanctified all the heavenly utensils, and us, with His blood. I said, Jesus, is not incapable nor inadequate; therefore He is never changing His mind, nor will His actions toward us ever change. He sanctified us, one time, for all eternity. And, there is nothing that I can do to alternately affect His actions toward me. At this point, I stopped and said, there is sanctification in thirty seconds or less, and it was not that difficult, was it.

Knowing I was going to a place with minimal distractions, and that a primary reason for being there was to reduce my stress somehow, I had talked with God about restoring some level of communication with Him. As the character Christopher Robin would say to Winnie the Pooh in AA Milne's Winnie the Pooh, you silly old bear, I too heard something like that and realized that God had never stopped talking. I had allowed the overwhelming stress factors to drown out His voice. Something simple as a thirty-second conversation about something so profound as sanctification, made me aware, once again, of how close the Father indeed is to us, should we choose to follow Him.